Don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a mask, a thousand mask. Mask that I am afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that’s second nature to me, but don’t be fooled, for gods sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I am secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game that the waters calm and I am in command. And that I need no one but don’t believe me, my surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever varying and ever concealing. Beneath lies no compliance, beneath lies confusion, fear and aloneness. But I hide this; I don’t want anyone to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed. That’s why I fanatically create a mask to hide behind, sophisticated façade to help me pretend to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is preciously my salvation, my only hope and I know it. That is if it is followed by acceptance, love, it is the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self built personal wall, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It is the only thing that will assure me of what I can’t assure myself. That I am really worth something, I don’t like to hide, I don’t like playing sophisticated phony game, and I want to stop playing them. I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me. But you have got to help me; you have got to hold out your hand even when that’s the last thing that I want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blind stare of the breathing death, only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you are kind and gentle and courageous, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings but wings with your power to touch me. You breathe life into me. I want you to know that, who am I.
I want you to hear what I am not saying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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